Friday 1 June 2007

Who needs books to put kids to sleep

Don't waste your money on loads of books to read to your kids at bedtime, just put on an England match and they should fall asleep very very quickly.

I haven't watched much of tonight's match but what I have been has been very boring, the commentators have basically said its a boring match and have pointed out the frustration of the crowd. End it now so they can go watch Big Brother.

Ho Noez my life is over

Five or Six weeks ago I applyed for several jobs that I found in the paper and on the Internet. I got a reply today saying I have been unsucessful, I found this very upsetting. A fraction of a second later I remember I already have a job and have been there for four weeks. I think this company should get better staff for doing the post, don't work for them. Whoever they were :S

Interested in art?

Have you got an interest in art and maybe doing some sort of art course. You have to do a project and can't think of anything to do but you want it to be really different and maybe abit controversial?

Then I suggest you base you work upon this website, very different and slighly not safe for work.

Enjoy

Thursday 31 May 2007

Big Brother thought of the week

Once a week I will do a Big Brother post if I have something really worth noting.

OK, so this Friday the one and only male housemate will be let in. I reckon that this man will be the ex boyfriend of the coloured girl that hates men at the moment or he was never with her or upset her at some point.

It won't be a gay man, as that's just pointless. If they did that they might as well have made it 100% female housemates.

Its going to be a womaniser or some so called famous person that has been with more women than he has had hot dinners. Maybe it will be Callum Best, hes a jobless wankstain that only gets money from doing reality telly. Even tho he is with Lindsey Lohan, he probably needs some cash of his own.

Whatever happens Channel 4 just want to see lots of Straight and Lesbian sex. My guess up first will be the twins doing it with the bloke.

Wednesday 30 May 2007

Big Brother

Every year I have said I'm not going to watch Big Brother but I have always failed. Some years I have watched as there has been nothing else on TV but I usually end up watching most series of it.

I'm just going to give in and watch it when it happens to be on and be bothered and I see one or it could be two reasons to watch. THE TWINS! They only up to the third person so far but its looking interesting already.

I might write more about Big Brother if I feel its really worth it.

€uroEnglish

English is set to be the language of Europe, but a few changed will be made to make it easy for all Europeans. It shall be known as EuroEnglish, the change is set to take place over 5 years.

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c' and 'k' will replace the hard 'c'. Not only will this klear up konfusion and make the life of sivil servants easier, but also komputer keyboards will need one less key.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with an 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to get to a stage where more komplikated alterations are possible. So double letters will be removed to inkrease the likelihood of akurate speling. And the horible mes of the selent 'e' wil be banished.

By the fourth yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps like replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.

During ze fifz yar, ze unecesary 'o' kan be droped from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar modifikations vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, we will hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Monday 28 May 2007

I said I was going to review it and here it is

GHOST RIDER!

Finally got round to watching it and it was totally worth it. I've never read the comic so no idea if it is as good as it should have been. But as a film it was very good and there was no boring bits at all, it started building up fairly early and eventually packed the punch and only went down slighly at the end.

I did start writing the story but it kind of ruins it all if I tell you. The special effects are very good and the film has a few suprises. As its a comic book and hes sort of a superhero the story has to have a woman involved. But in this she isn't in the way as much so its good to see a slighly different hero.

I give it 4 out of 5 Go see it!

Sunday 27 May 2007

Rather unsure

In the summer there is going to be The Simpsons Movie, I'm not sure wether I'm looking forward to seeing it. Recently most new episodes have been just ok and have copied each other. For example, there have been far to many episodes of Homer and Marge having marriage problems. They manage to fit a whole story into around 25 minutes so I'm wondering how dragged out the story is going to be in the movie. I reckon its going to get boring quickly and they will have tired to hard to make it great. Only time will tell and I think its due out in July.

On the other side there is a film I'm really looking forward to, Transformers. Pictures that I have seen look amazing and sounds great from what I have read so far. Hopefully this will be my film of the year.

At the moment, the best film I have seen this year has been Blades of Glory and at a close second Notes of a Scandal. I thought I would like Blades of Glory but thought Will Ferrel would ruin it by over doing the comedy bit. He didn't!!! Notes of a Scandal I thought looked and sounded shit but saw it because Hot Fuzz had sold out. But it was brill, go watch both!!

Black Sheep

story but its about sheep. Other people get bitten and become sheep like and sheep become meat eaters. The backbone of the story is a sort of I've been at it again, watching a film on the Internet way before its released over here. Its coming soon to cinema, the film is Black Sheep. This is a comedy horror film all the way from New Zealand. The story is about Genetically altered sheep, no idea why I don't remember the reason being mentioned. But anyway nasty lamb thing in a canister is let out and bites a guy and then a normal sheep and they become infected. So its now like a zombie story mixed with the warewolffeud between two brothers, one set up the GM sheep on the family farm and the other has returned to sell his part of the farm. He has a fear of sheep as his brother, the evil one running the farm scared him really badly 15 years before. They eventually get it all sorted out and they blow the sheep and evil brother up with a lighter because the sheep keep farting. Thus saving the world. It had a few funny moments in it and its worth a watch. 3.5 out of 5

Soon I will be doing short reviews on Ghost Rider and Grindhouse.

Saturday

As I said a few days ago about going to London Zoo and yesterday was the day. I wasn't so optimistic about going and just as well really. It was fairly good at first of "wow an animal sleeping/doing something". But it was all the same really, animals standing there or doing something. In all it was abit of a let down, everyone was expecting it to be better. So don't bother with London Zoo, go to Howletts its cheaper if you really need to look at animals.

Not long after getting home I had to rush about, well not a major rush anyway as I had been invited out by Sophia. She told me to "bring some fit mates", she didn't imply wether these mates should be male or female so I text a few people, never really being able to deliver on the fit part. Whatever tickles your fancy really. All no's, I had only text 3 people, in the end it didn't really matter. Ann Marie said why to coming out, what an odd girl she is.

Anyway, down at the Victoria I had never been there before, looked abit rubbish when I first went in there. Phia and Co were nowhere to be seen so I walked around the pub to try and see her. Got mistaken for someone else by some bloke. I had a drink but felt stupid standing around on my own, so I walked out to try and spot them. Hurrah! There they are! Everyone that was with her I had met before apart from one guy but he was cool. Phia and her boyfriend Les are having problems and he had just walked off a few minutes before. He then came racing up in his car and demanded she get in the car, she refused and he drove away.

Les is a nice guy but his driving is fucking shit, I'm glad i've never sat in the front of the car because being in the back his bad enough. He always drives to fast and doesn't seem to really know what the brake pedal does, so if he goes around a bend you get tossed around the car. He also takes forever to change gear. He will say in first until his car is going like 30mph, then remembers about the other gears. His car must be in bad shape by now from all this shoddy driving. The rubber mounts that hold up the gear stick in my car broke afew months ago, garage said it was a design fault but the mounts can break from you changing gear to quickly or something like that, so his car must be in ruined underneath.

Anyway, back to the walk to the pub. I made a bet with Daz that Les comes in to the pub to make her come home. I won that bet very quickly, hurrah I'm up 50p! Then he came in and he demanded she come outside so I made a second bet that someone gets thrown out. Barmaid told them to go outside if they are gunna argue and they said. I win again so that's another 50p, never did get the £1 off Daz.

put our names down for a few, and another one with Ben. He later disappeared, apparently he went to escape and he left his girlfriend. Seemed odd but she had come out with In the pub there was karaoke, the bloke that was running it must have been in his late 60's! The most recent song on his play list was The Crazy Frog, how do you sing that? Its a ringtone! There was some good songs on the play list, everyone eventually had a go. Me and Daz got called for a second song but we hadn't picked this one, Like a Virgin. Karaoke man seemed to love everything we did, it was mostly Daz singing as he held the mic and hes alot taller than me. More embarrassment for him then really.

Phia and Les eventually sorted out their problems, well for now anyway. Have you fallen asleep yet? Karaoke ended up breaking or something, this fat bloke asked me what I thought and told me its happened several times before. Turned out he owned the pub, found that out at the end of the night when there was some big argument. People got upset blah blah blah. Some of us went into town for a drink, which was ok. Then walked back and I got home about 3am.

Other notes of the night, talking to this girl that had had to much really as we talked about the colour blue. Then she showed me her tattoo, it said 'BLUE'. This was odd like some sort of Derren Brown trick or she likes to talk about the colour, not the band tho. Other minor stuff happened that I don't feel like noting down as it aint really worth it.

Near the end now, you waking up? I had a lot to drink and a woke up nice and early this morning hangover free as usual. Only been hungover once and I puked in the taxi.

Now this is the end of this post, tomorrow I shall write about my outing from tonight and I'll try to be less indepth.

Toodles

Friday 25 May 2007

Shrek 3

Usually when it comes to the third film in a series its rubbish, like what I said about Spiderman 3. I thought Pirates 2 was really boring so expect number 3 to be even worse, but I'm not going to see it. Other films are bad when number 2 comes out, look at the Godfather. First one was very good but after that the other two sucked.

Execptions to this would be the Star Wars films, maybe would disagree but thats my view. Old horrors like Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th had OK follow on's apart from the Freddy vs Jason one.

I have just seen Shrek 3 and it wasn't a disappointment. The first two were really good and Shrek 3 is just as good. Not a dull moment at all and it keeps a good pace so you don't get bored at all. Most of the big laughs are at the beginning and end, but you still get a few funnys in between.

So I suggest you go and see it, 100% worth it!

Madaline McCan

Probably got the spelling wrong but o well, thought I would write about that missing girl. I have a few theorys about what is really behind her going missing.

Firstly shes been missing for several weeks now and there is only news coverage over here and there. If someone did take her they could be on the other side of the world by now and no one would know who she is and really care.

Maybe she wasn't kidnapped, maybe shes been dead for several years. The parents have refused to let go, bought tickets for the holiday and can always see her (same going for the other kids). Then the night they left the kids in the villa, she sort of faded out of memory and they didn't know where she went. So they went nutty and came to the conclusion that someone took her.

Next, she never existed ever. The woman lost a baby at birth or whatever but like the first theory decided to believe she had a child and the family feel into it too for some bizare reason. Pictures and stuff of her are of a child they have been following around or got from the internet.

I'm kinda stealing ideas from films here, but you never know.

Thirdly, they left her at home/the airport/the taxi and didn't want to look like bad parents so they said she was kidnapped.

Finally, they kidnapped her , linking in with her not being real and that. Then on holiday she managed to escape.

Whatever the real story is, I doubt this little girl will be found.

Thursday 24 May 2007

Wooooooo Yar Blah

The bank holiday next Monday is for the Queens birthday, not her real birthday, her birthday for common people to know about. As a Civil Servant (I work for the government) I get an extra day off that can be taken any time. So I'm taking Tuesday off too. So will only have to work 3 days next week which is a bonus i guess.

What exciting plans have I got I don't hear you ask? On Saturday I'm going to London Zoo, organised by my dads work. I've never been there before so it should be very exciting see animals sleep, shit and eat. I don't really need to go to London to see that, I could just watch my dogs or go over the park. Same thing if you think about it. Then nothing til Tuesday when its my sisters 21st birthday, we are going to do something during the day but nothing set yet. Then go out for family meal in the evening.

Going back a few days now to Wednesday morning when I was driving into the car park and as I turned a women came close to walking into my car. I slowed down and she saw my car, but when she turned I realised who it was. I had nearly hit my Line Manager! She didn't see it was me in the car and I didn't say anything to her until this morning that she nearly walked into my car. I like my Line Manager so it would be bad if I did hit her, sort of odd that many people hate their managers and would like them hurt or whatever but do nothing about it. But I nearly did it!

All for now

Tuesday 22 May 2007

Spiderman 3

If you have not seen it yet then I suggest you don't waste your time watching it at the cinema, instead find a website to watch it on. I'm not saying its shit, but its not as good as Spiderman 1 and 2 combined. There are far to many story lines, well 3 in total but each one could have been a separate film.

Its nearly 2 and a half hours long and parts of it rip of The Mask, if you have seen The Mask you will notice the copied bit. Its not exact but its a steal either way.

When you watched it, drop me a message to say if you agree or not.

The Cutty Sark

For all those that don't know what it is, the Cutty Sark is a 19th Century Boat based Greenwich. It was on fire today and was under restoration so many parts were unharmed as they were somewhere else at the time. I had never heard of the boat either until this morning when it was on the Radio.

Not many people seem to know what it is so this shows that school history is good at missing out worthless bits of history like this boat. I don't know why its famous. Jim at work seemed annoyed about it as its a loss in British Hertitage or something. Hes 55 and loves that sort of thing, he loves classical music so must be into history too. Maybe he was fine about it, the convosation last like 2 minutes.

So there you go, you've learnt something new today!!

ARRRR

Having Only set this up yesterday Googlr has taken over for some reason. So I have to start again. I want some money!!